Monday, May 12, 2008

pure hatred

I really hate when people say " aw, that's so long. why don't you just get married in August." Like i didn't know it's so freakin' long. It has been almost pure hell for me being away from Steve, let alone that we have to wait till December to be together. It just happens to work out the best in December.... so people, just shut your freakin' mouth. It's none of your business. By the way, those people who kept on saying those annoying words to me aren't coming to my wedding anyway. Why does it freakin' matter to them? it just makes me so angry when people make comments like that.

Just because your freakin' parents are loaded and you don't have to pay for your wedding... and just because your freakin' mother is planning your whole wedding, and all you do is sit back, and show up on that day. SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' undereducated mouth. think before you speak. Better yet, don't speak, cuz you have such a dense brain. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP~!!!! i don't want to hear you anymore ...!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

New melody

It still amazes me how some people can write music, i can listen to them just fine, but writing them, coming up with them. No way. I guess I could, but it'll sounds really weird. I have lived with 2 music people during college. Both are amazingly talented, and both are really messy. I couldn't stand them. Their emotion towards certain things, no matter what's messed up in their live, they all have one same trait - Sing forever - when they are upset or simply need an escape.

Last night I have finally accepted that my extended engagement is a blessing that heavenly father gave me. I have never have alot of girl friends, i have a couple that i really talk to and hang out. But I am not sure how to be around girls, isn't it ironic? I guess not in my situation, because i have guy friends mostly. Last night i was hanging out with whole bunch of girls from the ward, and we had alot of food, and watch Grey's and Office together. Whitney painted my nail fuchsia, and other girls painted their nails in super dark color. like blue and black. It was just fun to hang out with the girls when they are not fighsty.

I have observed that only the mellow girls went to the girls night out. all the other... i am sorry, i don't know how else to discribe them.... "fake looking" girls didn't even show up. i guess people attract the kind of people they are themselves. Girls who cares about what color their skin is, and if they have enough bronzer on their face....... I really don't care about those kind of people.

Last sunday, i just had it. I am just so sick of people saying... "why don't you just get married (in august)" I really want to reply with " Just because your daddy pays for all of your college (did you even finish college?) and 10 thousand dollar+ wedding; you don't know how it is to have to do those two things on your own." Yes, it is hard to pay for my own college education and saving money to pay for my own wedding. If I could do it over again, i wouldn't do it any other way. Yes, it would be nice to have the help, get whatever i need, and not worry about how to survive this month. But the lesson was priceless. I have learned how to take care of myself, and knowing everything will be okay if i work hard. These are the times where i learned how to be humble, and have faith in the Lord. Knowing that he'll carry my burden with me, and he's with my 100% of the way. I thank my mother to letting me be independent. but i gotta say....... oh yeah, it was hell.... but I know how to handle things.

oh yeah, the pigeon who is currently living in my balcony had two eggs. One hatched yesterday, and the other one hatched today. they are so cute, and awkward looking. They kinda look like chickens... I told my mom, and she said it's very good luck to have some kind of birth in your home. So i guess it's pretty awesome....?? i need to be more intune with my chinese culture.