Saturday, August 30, 2008

cold play

I have always love the rich fulfillling sound of cello, violin and drum playing together. When i heard Coldplay's Vivalavia, i was instantly immersed in the music. I closed my eyes and i can just feel the song, and walk through the imagery the lyrics has painted. The lyric is very abstract, and i quite enjoy listening to it. i was hoping the video could show the Catholic choir singing in a faded black and white film. and the singer walk through his life experience like going back to his old memories.

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can not explain
I know Saint Peter won't call my name
Never an honest word
And that was when I ruled the world

Click here for the video.

J'espere un jour je peux pense en francaise. Dans une monde comme au jourd'hui, il faux que tous parle mieux que une langue. ok my french is suffering.....

life is going well, just got another project. i was wondering why they'd pick me to do it, then i guess i am the only person who'd do a good job at it. i need to acuquire for a better pay, although i have a very flexible hours, which i can not complain. so in the next few months, i'd be busy doing interviewing people accross the globe. i wonder how i am going to catch people in Japan... uh.... hours difference. .... eh... i am jenn hsu, i can do anything. right?

so... monday.... labor day. Steve and i are going take our engagement pics at Gateway... i am excited. but i wish i have more clothes choice. oh who cares.... we'll look good. if worse comes to the worse. i can always photoshop different outfit into it... hahah.... that's sooo white trash.

i can hardly wait to see my steve tomorrow. i haven't seen him for 3 weeks.... December IS coming up soon. i just wish it's coming sooner,,,, so i can get over the wedding plannin, and talking to my super chinese weird mother. ...

talking about my mother, i really try to love her. but sometimes, well, most of the time, she'll say things that really hurt my feeling. words like... " are you skinner?.. did you loose any weight??" .. ok, so i am 5'2, and weight 130lbs. athletic looking. i am NOT fat whatsoever. yes, i could loose a few pouds, but my chinese mother always put me down like i am the worse daughter ever. I have struggle to pray everyday to my god and praying for help that i could soften my own heart to love her for who she is and not worry about the words coming out of her mouth. Is this just a culture difference that i am experiencing here or what? i never know what she is implying in her words.

on the other hand.... she always tell other people how proud she is of me....? ironic. She's crazy... and we just don't know each other anymore. how sad is this? i know i am sad that my relationship with my mother is not as good as before. i guess i've subpressed alot of feelings and try not to remember what she had done. And one day i see my friend's relationship with their mother, i realized how paralized my relationship with my mother is. She is more like a roommate throughout my childhood, rather than mother/daughter. Mothers should give cousels, and be a good example.... gah.... God, just erase my decayed memories of my parents, and just help me to be the best wife and best mom i can be.

I guess i wouldn't be thinking about how i can be a good mother, if my mom had done a better job with me. My mother is lucky that she got me as a daughter, cuz compare me to other kids, i am just way independent. i was out of er hair... i wonder she knows about this.... maybe i am the one who needs to change attitude... since i can't realy change hers. she is turning into an old... very traditional chinese women... and we live in the land of the free. our thinking is different... our life style is completely different. .........

Wish Bee and Cindy is still here.... Steve, let's just get married right now!

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