Friday, February 10, 2012

No boyfriends when you are young and pretty - Trying to find someone to married when you are old and wrinkly

I am always puzzled as to why the Chinese parents restrict their children from dating, or having friends that are opposite gender when they are in their teens and twenties. The Chinese parents are extremely concerned about their children's school work, and if they could get high enough test scores to get into the best school, and eventually the best money making profession.

example of a Taiwan match maker
 The photo above is the traditional Taiwan match maker. The sign has the requirement for both men and women who wants to be matched up.

1. Have regular job
2. No criminal records
3. Have a house
4. Healthy body
5. No bad habits

1. simple pretty appearance
2. Under 36
3.Have a regular job

So for my friends and cousins in Taiwan, it's no dating, no dating, and NO dating. While they are all young, vibrant, exciting, and gorgeous, they are not allow to date? And then the parents started to get worried when their children aren't having any prospect of marriage when they are in their 30's, sometimes 40's, and some just never get the chance to married for love, and have a family.

My thinking is... if you are not allowed to date and find the love of you life, it's will only get harder when you are overweight, wrinkly, older, and with low self esteem. (because you are older, and still single)

Their solution--pay a large sum money to a match maker, in exchange to help them find someone to marry and have kids with. (Also because they are personally social awkward, cuz they weren't allow to socialize with opposite genders)

Something is wrong with this picture. I believe one of the leading reason why there are so many older Chinese couples aren't happy, is that people aren't allow to date, and are somewhat pressured into marriage when their parents wants grand kids. The pressured married couples hate each other, they live together, they have children together, and they are miserable. So, do they get married for themselves? or for the sake to produce grandchildren to please their parents?

Then... there is another problem. Having trouble to conceive! Dude, if you are older, your eggs and swimmers are older too. If you are 40 and trying to get pregnant? are you insane??? It's already tiring to be pregnant, giving birth, and chasing a baby in my twenties. I can't imaging having to deal with the morning sickness, all that comes with being pregnant, giving birth in such high age, and chasing a baby in your 40's. AND having to deal with a teenager in you 50's AND dealing with your own menopause.

I bet the Chinese parents ever thought about that before.

So, back to the no dating, only school and career. That leads to having to pay for a matchmaker to help find someone, that also wants to get married. So two haggered (after all that late night studying for the test to go to the best school that leads to the best job, which requires you work all day and night and no time for yourself. Nor time to meet other people, and practicing social skill) and socially retarded people get together in an awkward situation with the match maker sitting in between them , because they have to compromise, when you are old, ugly and socially retarded, you can't married someone young, hip, popular and pretty, unless you are like Hugh Hefner, with lots and lots of money.

To those parents would someday become grandparents in the appropriate age, think twice before you force your children into " No dating, only studying, and school". You might want to reconsider. It'll save you money in a long run on the match maker. Let your kids have a social life, let them go date, fall in love, get their hearts broken, and find love again. At least they won't be as awkward as a 50 year old single man trying to marry the socially awkward 40 year old women.


Sassy Sarah said...

Wow... it makes me SO grateful to be living in a country and culture where dating is acceptable! I'm so glad I dated many people and learned how to be in a relationship before I got married. We are so blessed here.

What is the divorce rate in China and Taiwan? How often do people really go to a matchmaker to help them find a spouse?

Fortune Cookies said...

This is hilarious, because its true. You are breaking all the rules Jenn.